A Moment of Honesty
Categories: Pastor's Corner
When I first started writing this blog, the idea was to allow others to look over my shoulder and see what God is doing in my life. Right now, I have a ton of work to do and don’t really have time to be writing this, but I owe this to every thoughtful reader.
This is a difficult time for me in a lot of ways. I’m not feeling really successful in ministry these days. Oh, I see God doing some awesome things, but I don’t see myself being particularly effective. One reason for this is that I’ve found myself under a lot of financial pressure.
You may not know this, but clergy ministry is not a particularly lucrative field. We’ve always known this, but right now it seems like the resources necessary to keep moving all the ministry parts we’ve initiated are just not there. We’ve depended on God for this, and continue to do so.
In recent months, it’s seemed like I need to return to bi-vocational status and try to replace my income from a source outside the church. Surprisingly, it turns out that people are not standing in line to hire 60 year old guys, regardless of experience. Right now, we’re facing some trying financial pressures as we try to keep moving forward.
This would be an easy time to kind of hide from you and keep my problems to myself. On the other hand, I learned a long time ago that no one cares about your faith when everything is working for you. But, when tough times come, a lot of people want to know, “Does it really work when things aren’t going well?”
And, here I stand, still trusting God, waiting for His redemption and wanting to remind you to keep watching as the God of all creation does what He wants to do in my life. Hey, I don’t know what the answer will be, and yes, there’s risk in this.
I mean, what if God really doesn’t come through for me? What if I don’t find His redemption to my circumstances? Won’t that leave all of you wondering if God really cares , and maybe wondering if you’re trusting the wrong god?
And that’s exactly why I knew that I needed to write this today. I’m listening to Brian Johnson sing, “Love Came Down,” a song that Drew is using in both our congregations this week, and realizing that God is speaking to me right here.
That song has a verse that goes like this”
“If the storms of life they come
And the road ahead gets steep
I will lift these hands in faith
I will believe.”
That’s where I am right now. I will believe, because that’s the story of my life. And, if I give you a chance to see God’s love come down and rescue me, then you’ll know that He’s ready to do the same for you.
But listen, it won’t mean as much to you unless you get to see it in real time, as it happens.
You watch. You’ll see. That’s the kind of God we serve.
Always praying for, even in tears,
Your Older Brother,